Musings about growing up...

I came into work this morning to plan my two-week unit on Citizenship and maybe, just maybe, get started on my Economics curriculum map (second semester starts early February, so I need to get in gear on this), but instead, I sent some emails, browsed the web and, now, feel the need to post something I've been mulling over for a bit. Guess I'll do that prep work after my dentist appointment, not before. Flexibility people, it's all about flexibility.

Moving on...

On Friday, I stopped at Starbucks - normally, I try to frequent the local coffeeshops, but I have yet to find a local shop that makes chai better than Starbucks - and took notice of the quote on my cup. It was said by a singer-songwriter that I have never heard of, but her questions gave me pause.

Have I resigned myself to having less and less resolute opinions because: A) I don't want to be disliked?; B) I'm in therapy?; C) I've grown up?

It makes me wonder. I have never been especially radical in my beliefs. That is not to say that I don't have some radical beliefs, but rather that I have never been prone to preaching my beliefs to others or arguing with others until they see things my way (this was very probably cause for both my political success and failure in college). That being said, I have noticed recently that I have become even more reticent (sp?) about offering my opinions as certainties. As this woman says, my opinions seem to have become less resolute. So, I have to ask - is that because, as I have gotten older, I have come to recognize and appreciate the many shades of gray that create our world? Or, is it that I am simply too tired and too busy to still have such resolution in my opinions? Or, perhaps worst of all, is it because, like this woman says, I fear being disliked or, more suitable to me, entering into conflict with someone? I have no answer to these questions, but I am okay with that. I think continuing to question such things is a good sign.

Also, I went to church on Sunday (part of my 2007 plan for a more balanced life) and found myself with so many people and things to pray for. All of my religious dabblings aside, I was born and raised a Catholic, and I remember my mom getting us to church early, kneeling quietly in the pew and, I suppose, offering up her prayers before mass started. As a kid, like all kids, I would emulate my mom, but I usually ran out of things to pray over in a minute or so. This didn't change much as I got older, although, to be fair, I stopped going to church that often and prayed only when asked to. So, this Sunday, I get to church as it is starting and wait until the moment when the priest asks us to offer up our own silent prayers. That moment comes and I am not even halfway through when we are moving on! It's not like I only pray in church or anything, but it still struck me that, at this point in my life, I have so much more to pray for than I ever have before. That is an interesting realization - one that caused me to stop and take stock of my life and all that is going on for those around me. Mind you, not all of my prayers revolve around sad or unpleasant things (for instance, it is nice to pray for friends planning their wedding, etc), but still...

All part of growing up, I suppose.