A need to vent

I am sorry to do this, really I am, but I am so frustrated this morning that I need to vent before I explode on some poor child or colleague.

1. The classroom that I share with another teacher is used every hour of the school day, and many hours after the school day as well. If I want to make a phone call during my free period, I have to do so from somewhere else. If I want to work on a project quietly, I either have to put on my headphones (as I am doing right now) or decamp to another location on campus. The only exception to this is when, for three glorious weeks in May, my seniors are no longer in class and I have the room to myself for 90 minutes each morning. I am able to spread out, to organize, to work on scheduling, etc. Today was supposed to be the first of those days. I had big plans. I got to work at 9am after a doctor's appointment and the woman with whom I share the classroom had taken it upon herself to move her class into our room for the morning. I am only a little ashamed to admit that my well-honed passive-aggression came out when I made a point to look at my watch and ask, "Is it 2nd block already" since that is when she should be in the room with her students. When she explained that she decided to move her class into our room because I didn't have students, I didn't even hestitate before asking if she planned to do that every day. I usually avoid confrontation with or second-guessing of adults in front of students, but I was so irritated. And, of course, for those last 30 minutes of what was supposed to be my quiet work time, I was interrupted no less than 5 times by her students who either had questions for me or were just being loud amongst themselves.
   
2. Every year I agree to let the classroom in which I teach be used for middle school study hall. As part of the process, I fill out this detailed contract explaining what can and cannot be used, what the room should look like when the group leaves, etc. And almost every morning, I spend the first 5-10 minutes of my day rearranging and straightening the room so it is ready for my students. I often find materials missing or broken and on more than one occasion a student has written on the white board with permanent marker. Today not only was the bookshelf a complete disaster and the floor littered with paper and crumbs, but the rubber band ball I keep in my desk drawer was missing. It's little stuff, I know, but imagine walking into your office each morning and finding it in a condition completely unlike how you left it. Now imagine that materials you use on a daily basis have been stolen or broken. And finally, imagine that you start your workday at 8am and that you are a little particular about your surroundings. Yes, the irritation of the day grows.
   
3. At the end of last school year I agreed to co-facilitate the upper school team with a member of the student life team. The understanding was that we would work to bridge the gap between our two staffs and create a cohesive upper school team. This is something I have pushed for in the last few years, so I was completely on board. Then, when we met in August, the student life team announced that they were launching a new initiative. Students at every grade level would be sharing a Presentation of Learning at the end of the year. They promised to own the process, but we all know that doesn't work out as nicely as one would like. I am now in charge of scheduling the 130 upper school students for their POLs. I assigned panelists, found locations, arranged for equipment, and created the initial schedule. Now that we are halfway done, the POL schedule is running my life. These are high school students - they don't always come prepared. Every time a student is absent on their POL day or unprepared on their POL day, I have to find an alternate date, time, location, and, sometimes, panel. Every day there is something to manage regarding this process - some new mini-crisis of sorts - and often they are brought to my attention seconds after I enter the building (before I even make it to my classroom, unpack my bag, etc). My co-facilitator is equally overburdened by the POL process, I should mention. It's a lot and it's really stressful and when I complain about it outside of school people just stare at me blankly like they don't understand why I am so frustrated.

Okay, sorry. I really don't hate my job. I just sometimes get overwhelmed by the circumstances under which I am asked/expected to do my job. And since I don't always get the reaction I'm looking for when I complain/vent out loud, I thought writing it down might help with some release. (For the record, I'm not looking for some big reaction, just acknowledgement that I am doing a lot this year and that even though I sort of signed up for it, it is still okay to sometimes be overwhelmed by and/or angry about it.)

On the bright side, tomorrow I am taking my AP students to the Newseum for an all-day, "just because you worked hard this year" field trip. And Friday is their transition ceremony, which is always one of my favorite events to attend. So, you know, good things too.

Mmm...vacation

I just booked our honeymoon! After MONTHS of debating and indecision, Brian and I decided to travel to a place neither of us had considered at first. The Sunday after our wedding, we will leave to spend seven days here:

The twin mountains in the background might give it away, but we decided on the island of St. Lucia for our honeymoon. (St. Lucia is just south of Martinique, near Barbados.) It has everything we were looking for and is also a new destination for both of us, which is nice.

We went back and forth on whether to stay at a small, independent resort or a larger chain resort and, in the end, the desire to have everything paid for up front won out. We're staying at Sandals Halcyon and we're pretty excited about it.

Two months (and two days)!

Question

Do I need a purse for my wedding? Probably not. I mean, we're in the same building for the ceremony and the reception and we have the run of the whole mansion. I'm sure I could find somewhere to stash my lip gloss and what have you. That said...how badly do I want to buy THIS? Exactly. Now you understand my dilemma.

Sometimes, my students remind me of how awesome they really are

I have a student applying for a summer internship at the White House. It's a pretty awesome opportunity and I am impressed by how much work she has put into it. This morning, she sent me her final essay, about how a trip to India taught her to appreciate differences and value commonalities, to review and in it she included this line:

"Without exposure to different people and ideas we are like Plato’s citizens stuck in the allegorical cave unsure of what the shadows are and if we should fear them or embrace them."

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. I might have done a little of both, to be honest.

Seriously?!

How is it that over the course of a 6 hour professional development day (taking place three weeks before my students leave campus, mind you), I only have 45 minutes of personal work time?!

::sigh::

This has been some week.

Passing time

I am babysitting and while I should probably use this last half hour before I'm finished to write a grad school rationale or grade some AP public policy papers, I just don't have it in me. (To be fair, I did just finish posting responses on the grad school discussion board and grading a stack of institutions of government tests. So, I'm not a total slacker.) I thought that I might enjoy writing a quick post instead.

I don't know about anyone else, but my life has really taken off in the last two weeks or so. I don't mean "taken off" in a "I'm going places" kind of way. I mean that my life has begun to resemble some sort of circus and I am the poorly trained ringmaster, trying to keep the whole thing from imploding. Or I'm the woman juggling while riding a unicycle across the high wire. I'm not sure why I'm stuck on the circus imagery right now, but you get the idea: my life's a little crazy these days.

I know I have written about the craziness of my life before. And I know we all have crazy lives. But really. Throughout the course of the year, I would mention to people that I was teaching full time, leading my department, co-leading the high school team, going to grad school, and planning a wedding and they would look at me in amazement and comment on how crazy it was to have all of that going on at once. And I would agree because I figured they were right. And it has certainly felt crazy at times, but nothing - and I mean NOTHING - could have prepared me for how completely and utterly overwhelmed I have felt in the last two weeks.

You see, I am now four discussion posts, three papers, two weeks, and one rationale away from finishing my masters' degree program. I am also three months away from getting married. And 6 weeks away from my students' AP exam. And seven weeks away from seniors' final exams. And I am also one week in to the Presentations of Learning that every high school student in the school must give and that I am, with the assistance of my upper school team co-leader, organizing and running for the next two months. As I said, it's a lot.

The only way I know how to cope with this many major responsibilities is to schedule the hell out of my life. My planner, which is already color-coded, is starting to resemble a manuscript and my desk is overrun with to-do lists. I stay sane by keeping a very tight hold on everything going on right now and any attempt to wrest any of that control away from me could end very badly. So far, I am managing to appear normal (I think), but I'm hoping against hope I can keep it up for another few weeks, at least.

They're home! Time for me to go!

Making progress

Today, Brian and I booked our room for the wedding. While we are getting married about twenty minutes from home, it seemed reasonable to stay somewhere other than our apartment on our wedding night. At first we thought we'd stay in one of the hotels at which we have blocks of rooms for our guests, but when neither hotel would cut us a deal, we decided we might enjoy staying elsewhere. In our searching, we found the aloft hotel at the National Harbor. They have a deal where, if you stay two nights, you get a third night free. We'd been thinking that I might stay at the hotel the night before the wedding too, so this seemed perfect. We went today to scope out the rooms and ended up booking a suite for three nights. Very exciting!

Since my last post we have also booked the location and caterer for our rehearsal dinner, received our invitations, and planned our respective parties. I'm headed to Miami with a few of my favorite women (sadly, not everyone can make it) at the end of April and Brian and his friends have a full day of activities planned in DC for the middle of May. Last weekend, I went back to Chicago for my first dress fitting, which was pretty successful, and this past week, Brian and I spent his lunch hour applying for passports in anticipation of booking a honeymoon outside of the US. Plus, plans are underway for showers in Chicago and Crofton, which is fun if somewhat overwhelming.

In the next week or so, we plan to hire a videographer, mail our invites, and make a decision regarding the honeymoon and the guys' attire. Then...nothing for awhile. I'm starting to think about all of the little things I could be working on (programs, escort card templates, a guest book, etc), but I am not going to let myself go down that road until I am finished with grad school (three weeks and counting, by the way).

Hope everyone's doing well!