It is 10:37pm Sunday, but I can’t seem to access the Internet so I will write now and, perhaps, post later.
My dad’s Aunt Jeannie died this morning. She was very old and had been fading for some time now. Fading. What a silly euphemism. Like she was a photograph left out in the sun for too long, as opposed to a vibrant and wonderful woman. Strange, the things we say to avoid saying the truth. She had been dying for months, maybe even longer. She was placed in hospice care nearly two months ago and we all knew that it was only a matter of time. And yet, still, when my dad told me the news tonight I found myself in complete shock. I mean, one minute I am beaming and laughing with my roommate and the next minute I am seeking out a place in the movie theater lobby into which I can tuck myself. I’m not even sad. Not really. Not about her death. I didn't know her well. She was very old. I am saddened by the news, but not actively sad. I think that makes sense.
What I am sad about is this: I’m sad that my family isn’t closer (more tight-knit, not closer geographically...although that too, I guess). I’m sad that I haven’t seen my cousins’ children in over a year, that the extended families (on both sides) don’t get together more, that I live so far away.
An old friend visited a few weeks back and he asked me if I was planning on staying in DC. The answer is yes. I am happy here. It took me awhile to accept that, but it is the truth. (One of the nice things about getting older is that I am accepting many truths about myself.) But, like so many things in life, the truth is also more complicated than that. The reality of it, in all of the shades of gray, is that I have a hard time reconciling the life I lead now with the life I thought I would be leading. I never in a million years thought I would really leave the Midwest. I never imagined living 800 miles from my family and closest friends. I never really thought I'd still be single at 26 (and seriously, by now I'm an expert single person). And yet here I am - all of those things and still happy int his life that sometimes seems so "wrong." It is a bizarre feeling – one that often leaves me feeling more than a little unsettled.
My dad’s phone call this evening stirred all of this up and as Elizabeth and I walked along the Potomac and back to the car (we saw a movie in Georgetown), I found myself unable to stop talking – even though I wasn’t making much sense. A similar sense of urgency compelled me to write this entry. It isn’t fluid and the thoughts aren’t followed through to completion (much like y writing in high school, if my teachers' comments are to be believed), but it’s where I’m at right now. No worries, it is not a bad place. In fact, I think it is a pretty familiar place for most people my age. One day I’ll look back on this and shake my head at my silly insecurities and naïve plans (after all, “man plans, G-d laughs”), but for now they are real and exist right alongside my contentment and confidence. Funny how that works.
Monday, December 18, 2006
Friday, December 15, 2006
Oh happy day!
School's out for winter (break)! I cannot believe that it is already the middle of December. I cannot believe that I am off of work for the next two weeks. I cannot believe that I leave for Chicago in approximately 4 days. I cannot believe I will be in Madison in 5 or 6 days. I am truly in shock. Overwhelmingly pleasant shock, to be sure, but shock all the same.
My last day was good - lots of hugs and laughter and some serious moments. I brought candy canes for my seventh graders and cupcakes for my seniors and all of my classes earned a movie day by having a week of excellent behavior and work (okay, Monday was crap, but the rest of the days were fabulous and they were (and I quote) "AMAZING" (empahsis hers) for my substitute yesterday). So, I ate a bunch of garbage and watched the first 40 minutes of XMen (2x), XMen United and Lilo & Stitch during class today. But I also patrolled the hallways like nobody's business, gave my first period a stern talking to about eye contact and active listening.
Yesterday I was in a day-long training on how to be a behavior management coach. It was a great training, with 6 or 7 other teachers from the school, but early on there was a misunderstanding between 2 of the participants that ended with one crying and both apologizing and being more than a little emotional (in my opinion). Then a third person got involved and there were more tears. Only one of the coaches in training is a man and this afternoon he came into my room and said, "How to phrase this? ... I don't know, so I hope you aren't offended. You know, when that all went down yesterday I immediately looked for another man to make eye contact with and realized I was the only guy. And THEN I realized that I should be looking for you only you wer sitting behind me!" I laughed and was not offended at all. It's completely true. I am a girl and a woman in a million ways, but I am most certainly like a guy in this: I emote like a man. Which is to say, I really don't. It was actually kind of cool that he got that.
In the final stages of planning my trip back to the Midwest. No wedding to attend means less people will be seen (sad) and more plans must be coordinated (no lie, I kind of dig this part). I am beyond excited to hang out with Maggie and Stephanie and Cole and Karen and Marcia. And I'm looking forward to being in Madison again - I imagine it will look very different (again). I'm also hoping for a post-Christmas WY reunion of sorts, but, as usual, have put that on Wendy to plan (thanks, chica!). AND (!) this winter, Kara, Katie and I will all be in Chicago at the same time, so there will be much reminiscing over margaritas and Mexican food at Taxco. Yum....
Enough of this being in my classroom thing! Work's been done for nearly 30 minutes - it is time to get to happy hour and celebrate! Have a wonderful weekend, y'all!
My last day was good - lots of hugs and laughter and some serious moments. I brought candy canes for my seventh graders and cupcakes for my seniors and all of my classes earned a movie day by having a week of excellent behavior and work (okay, Monday was crap, but the rest of the days were fabulous and they were (and I quote) "AMAZING" (empahsis hers) for my substitute yesterday). So, I ate a bunch of garbage and watched the first 40 minutes of XMen (2x), XMen United and Lilo & Stitch during class today. But I also patrolled the hallways like nobody's business, gave my first period a stern talking to about eye contact and active listening.
Yesterday I was in a day-long training on how to be a behavior management coach. It was a great training, with 6 or 7 other teachers from the school, but early on there was a misunderstanding between 2 of the participants that ended with one crying and both apologizing and being more than a little emotional (in my opinion). Then a third person got involved and there were more tears. Only one of the coaches in training is a man and this afternoon he came into my room and said, "How to phrase this? ... I don't know, so I hope you aren't offended. You know, when that all went down yesterday I immediately looked for another man to make eye contact with and realized I was the only guy. And THEN I realized that I should be looking for you only you wer sitting behind me!" I laughed and was not offended at all. It's completely true. I am a girl and a woman in a million ways, but I am most certainly like a guy in this: I emote like a man. Which is to say, I really don't. It was actually kind of cool that he got that.
In the final stages of planning my trip back to the Midwest. No wedding to attend means less people will be seen (sad) and more plans must be coordinated (no lie, I kind of dig this part). I am beyond excited to hang out with Maggie and Stephanie and Cole and Karen and Marcia. And I'm looking forward to being in Madison again - I imagine it will look very different (again). I'm also hoping for a post-Christmas WY reunion of sorts, but, as usual, have put that on Wendy to plan (thanks, chica!). AND (!) this winter, Kara, Katie and I will all be in Chicago at the same time, so there will be much reminiscing over margaritas and Mexican food at Taxco. Yum....
Enough of this being in my classroom thing! Work's been done for nearly 30 minutes - it is time to get to happy hour and celebrate! Have a wonderful weekend, y'all!
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
For the record
My little sister leaves the best voicemails EVER!
Speaking of my sisters, today is their 23rd birthday! They are two of the most amazing women that I know - strong, smart, funny and beautiful. Happiest of birthday wishes, Lindsey and Rachel!
Speaking of my sisters, today is their 23rd birthday! They are two of the most amazing women that I know - strong, smart, funny and beautiful. Happiest of birthday wishes, Lindsey and Rachel!
Friday, December 08, 2006
Ab-so-fucking-lutely
A little message from your friendly ACLU member:
An Overdue Visit
'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the nation
Friends of Freedom knew it was a special occasion.
Lady Liberty stood taller just off the shore
Her torch shining brighter than a few weeks before
But it wasn't the flame turning her cheeks all rosy
It was thoughts of Snowe, Feingold and Nancy Pelosi
And leaders from every side of the aisle
Who would soon bring the Bill of Rights back into style.
The Amendments had all hurried out of their beds -
Which was no easy task, they were nearly in shreds -
And they rushed to the window on papery feet
As a jolly old man flew right over their street.
"Could it be!?" they inquired as the roof shook and trembled
And they crept toward the mantle, peaceably assembled,
Just as someone emerged from the chimney with flair
In a shiny red suit, with a shock of white hair
And a top hat, and pants all in red, white and blue -
"Wait a minute," the Amendments exclaimed, "Who are you?"
"Don't be frightened my children," he said, "it's no scam.
"You can't have forgotten your old Uncle Sam!"
"Holy crap!" said Free Speech. "Stop right there!" yelled Bear Arms
And Privacy cried "Who shut off the alarms?!"
The Fifth remained silent, but Uncle Sam said
"We've been having some trouble, but Freedom's not dead."
The Amendments were cautious. "It's just been so long
"We've seen Liberty lost, we've seen so much go wrong.
"The President's trying to mangle and warp us,
"The Fourth is in tatters, so's Habeas Corpus!"
The old man sat down - he had had quite a ride -
But he told them "Don't worry, the Law's on our side,
"'Cause the nation's fed up and more people are crying
"For Justice and an end to illegal spying,
"And secret abductions by the CIA,
"And laws that would take women's choices away,
"And Gitmo tribunals and secret detention,
"And other intrusions too numerous to mention - "
"Not so fast," said a grinchity voice from above
And Don Rumsfeld pushed past the Fourteenth with a shove.
He was covered in soot and he looked kind of scary.
It seemed like his Christmas had not been so merry.
The Amendments said they weren't happy to see him:
"You tried to throw all of us in the museum!
"You've done so much the Constitution forbids!"
"And I would have gone on, but for you meddling kids!"
Uncle Sam told him "Rummy, your plans just won't do,
"So we've got a brand new timetable for you!"
And as Rumsfeld retired and crept into the night
The Amendments cried out "Have a good secret flight!"
From the distance they heard him reply with a snort.
"Bye-bye, Rummy!" they answered, "we'll see you in court!"
Uncle Sam rode the chimney up out of the room
And, like Frosty, he said "I'll be back again soon."
But they heard him exclaim "Oh, and just one more thing!
"This year, when the holiday bells start to ring,
"Try to honor religion. Honest faith can't be wrong.
"It's America, can't we all just get along?
"So, on Christian," he cried, "Muslim, Hindu, and Jew!
"On Quaker! On Shaker! And Atheist too!
"On Buddhist! On Taoist! And to show we're not chickens
"We'll file a few lawsuits defending the Wiccans!
"Your belief is your right, so get out there and savor it.
"Uncle Sam's not a preacher, and he doesn't play favorites!"
So this holiday season, whatever you do,
Warmest wishes for Freedom, from the ACLU.
An Overdue Visit
'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the nation
Friends of Freedom knew it was a special occasion.
Lady Liberty stood taller just off the shore
Her torch shining brighter than a few weeks before
But it wasn't the flame turning her cheeks all rosy
It was thoughts of Snowe, Feingold and Nancy Pelosi
And leaders from every side of the aisle
Who would soon bring the Bill of Rights back into style.
The Amendments had all hurried out of their beds -
Which was no easy task, they were nearly in shreds -
And they rushed to the window on papery feet
As a jolly old man flew right over their street.
"Could it be!?" they inquired as the roof shook and trembled
And they crept toward the mantle, peaceably assembled,
Just as someone emerged from the chimney with flair
In a shiny red suit, with a shock of white hair
And a top hat, and pants all in red, white and blue -
"Wait a minute," the Amendments exclaimed, "Who are you?"
"Don't be frightened my children," he said, "it's no scam.
"You can't have forgotten your old Uncle Sam!"
"Holy crap!" said Free Speech. "Stop right there!" yelled Bear Arms
And Privacy cried "Who shut off the alarms?!"
The Fifth remained silent, but Uncle Sam said
"We've been having some trouble, but Freedom's not dead."
The Amendments were cautious. "It's just been so long
"We've seen Liberty lost, we've seen so much go wrong.
"The President's trying to mangle and warp us,
"The Fourth is in tatters, so's Habeas Corpus!"
The old man sat down - he had had quite a ride -
But he told them "Don't worry, the Law's on our side,
"'Cause the nation's fed up and more people are crying
"For Justice and an end to illegal spying,
"And secret abductions by the CIA,
"And laws that would take women's choices away,
"And Gitmo tribunals and secret detention,
"And other intrusions too numerous to mention - "
"Not so fast," said a grinchity voice from above
And Don Rumsfeld pushed past the Fourteenth with a shove.
He was covered in soot and he looked kind of scary.
It seemed like his Christmas had not been so merry.
The Amendments said they weren't happy to see him:
"You tried to throw all of us in the museum!
"You've done so much the Constitution forbids!"
"And I would have gone on, but for you meddling kids!"
Uncle Sam told him "Rummy, your plans just won't do,
"So we've got a brand new timetable for you!"
And as Rumsfeld retired and crept into the night
The Amendments cried out "Have a good secret flight!"
From the distance they heard him reply with a snort.
"Bye-bye, Rummy!" they answered, "we'll see you in court!"
Uncle Sam rode the chimney up out of the room
And, like Frosty, he said "I'll be back again soon."
But they heard him exclaim "Oh, and just one more thing!
"This year, when the holiday bells start to ring,
"Try to honor religion. Honest faith can't be wrong.
"It's America, can't we all just get along?
"So, on Christian," he cried, "Muslim, Hindu, and Jew!
"On Quaker! On Shaker! And Atheist too!
"On Buddhist! On Taoist! And to show we're not chickens
"We'll file a few lawsuits defending the Wiccans!
"Your belief is your right, so get out there and savor it.
"Uncle Sam's not a preacher, and he doesn't play favorites!"
So this holiday season, whatever you do,
Warmest wishes for Freedom, from the ACLU.
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
Thoughts and prayers
My thoughts and prayers today go out to the families in Milwaukee affected by the explosion at Falk Corporation. I haven't lived in Milwaukee in three years, but I was still shaken when I saw the photos and the maps - the explosion wasn't far from where I once lived. You can read more about the accident on the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel site. I hope all of you in the Milwaukee area are safe. I hope your relatives are safe. What a horrible thing to happen...
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
Mental filing cabinet
I love that a friend texted me, "Are financial aid forms covered under FERPA?" And I love even more that somewhere in my mental filing cabinet I actually had the answer. Memory is an amazing thing.
Anyway, I'm off to the Lupe Fiasco concert tonight. I am super excited! He's from Chicago and amazing. I'll let you know how it goes! :)
Anyway, I'm off to the Lupe Fiasco concert tonight. I am super excited! He's from Chicago and amazing. I'll let you know how it goes! :)
Monday, December 04, 2006
Muy fria
Someone who speaks Spanish better than I can feel free to correct my subject for today's post. And someone who lives somewhere that is actually cold can feel free to argue with me on this.
It was 76 degrees here on Friday. Today, with wind chill, it is about 20 degrees. That is a pretty significant drop for your body to acclimate to in such a short time span.
Even not considering that, consider this: I haven't been able to fully feel my toes since about noon and I have taught the last three hours wearing my coat. I resisted the urge to also wear my scarf.
Welcome, winter. We missed you so.
On a semi-related note, I have the first week of April off and am thinking of taking a vacation. I'd really like to go to Belize or Negril, but finances will prevent this. So now I'm looking for something cheaper and closer. Ideas?
It was 76 degrees here on Friday. Today, with wind chill, it is about 20 degrees. That is a pretty significant drop for your body to acclimate to in such a short time span.
Even not considering that, consider this: I haven't been able to fully feel my toes since about noon and I have taught the last three hours wearing my coat. I resisted the urge to also wear my scarf.
Welcome, winter. We missed you so.
On a semi-related note, I have the first week of April off and am thinking of taking a vacation. I'd really like to go to Belize or Negril, but finances will prevent this. So now I'm looking for something cheaper and closer. Ideas?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)