Ab-so-fucking-lutely

A little message from your friendly ACLU member:

An Overdue Visit

'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the nation
Friends of Freedom knew it was a special occasion.
Lady Liberty stood taller just off the shore
Her torch shining brighter than a few weeks before

But it wasn't the flame turning her cheeks all rosy
It was thoughts of Snowe, Feingold and Nancy Pelosi
And leaders from every side of the aisle
Who would soon bring the Bill of Rights back into style.

The Amendments had all hurried out of their beds -
Which was no easy task, they were nearly in shreds -
And they rushed to the window on papery feet
As a jolly old man flew right over their street.

"Could it be!?" they inquired as the roof shook and trembled
And they crept toward the mantle, peaceably assembled,
Just as someone emerged from the chimney with flair
In a shiny red suit, with a shock of white hair

And a top hat, and pants all in red, white and blue -
"Wait a minute," the Amendments exclaimed, "Who are you?"
"Don't be frightened my children," he said, "it's no scam.
"You can't have forgotten your old Uncle Sam!"

"Holy crap!" said Free Speech. "Stop right there!" yelled Bear Arms
And Privacy cried "Who shut off the alarms?!"
The Fifth remained silent, but Uncle Sam said
"We've been having some trouble, but Freedom's not dead."

The Amendments were cautious. "It's just been so long
"We've seen Liberty lost, we've seen so much go wrong.
"The President's trying to mangle and warp us,
"The Fourth is in tatters, so's Habeas Corpus!"

The old man sat down - he had had quite a ride -
But he told them "Don't worry, the Law's on our side,
"'Cause the nation's fed up and more people are crying
"For Justice and an end to illegal spying,

"And secret abductions by the CIA,
"And laws that would take women's choices away,
"And Gitmo tribunals and secret detention,
"And other intrusions too numerous to mention - "

"Not so fast," said a grinchity voice from above
And Don Rumsfeld pushed past the Fourteenth with a shove.
He was covered in soot and he looked kind of scary.
It seemed like his Christmas had not been so merry.

The Amendments said they weren't happy to see him:
"You tried to throw all of us in the museum!
"You've done so much the Constitution forbids!"
"And I would have gone on, but for you meddling kids!"

Uncle Sam told him "Rummy, your plans just won't do,
"So we've got a brand new timetable for you!"
And as Rumsfeld retired and crept into the night
The Amendments cried out "Have a good secret flight!"

From the distance they heard him reply with a snort.
"Bye-bye, Rummy!" they answered, "we'll see you in court!"
Uncle Sam rode the chimney up out of the room
And, like Frosty, he said "I'll be back again soon."

But they heard him exclaim "Oh, and just one more thing!
"This year, when the holiday bells start to ring,
"Try to honor religion. Honest faith can't be wrong.
"It's America, can't we all just get along?

"So, on Christian," he cried, "Muslim, Hindu, and Jew!
"On Quaker! On Shaker! And Atheist too!
"On Buddhist! On Taoist! And to show we're not chickens
"We'll file a few lawsuits defending the Wiccans!

"Your belief is your right, so get out there and savor it.
"Uncle Sam's not a preacher, and he doesn't play favorites!"
So this holiday season, whatever you do,
Warmest wishes for Freedom, from the ACLU.

Thoughts and prayers

My thoughts and prayers today go out to the families in Milwaukee affected by the explosion at Falk Corporation. I haven't lived in Milwaukee in three years, but I was still shaken when I saw the photos and the maps - the explosion wasn't far from where I once lived. You can read more about the accident on the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel site. I hope all of you in the Milwaukee area are safe. I hope your relatives are safe. What a horrible thing to happen...

Mental filing cabinet

I love that a friend texted me, "Are financial aid forms covered under FERPA?" And I love even more that somewhere in my mental filing cabinet I actually had the answer. Memory is an amazing thing.

Anyway, I'm off to the Lupe Fiasco concert tonight. I am super excited! He's from Chicago and amazing. I'll let you know how it goes! :)

Muy fria

Someone who speaks Spanish better than I can feel free to correct my subject for today's post. And someone who lives somewhere that is actually cold can feel free to argue with me on this.

It was 76 degrees here on Friday. Today, with wind chill, it is about 20 degrees. That is a pretty significant drop for your body to acclimate to in such a short time span.

Even not considering that, consider this: I haven't been able to fully feel my toes since about noon and I have taught the last three hours wearing my coat. I resisted the urge to also wear my scarf.

Welcome, winter. We missed you so.

On a semi-related note, I have the first week of April off and am thinking of taking a vacation. I'd really like to go to Belize or Negril, but finances will prevent this. So now I'm looking for something cheaper and closer. Ideas?

Sex talk

Tomorrow is World AIDS Day. I hope you do your best to educate yourself and others about this epidemic. (See www.amfar.org for good info.) Terrance and Drew, the two men with whom I co-teach seventh period decided to teach their lessons about HIV/AIDS in honor of this day. Tuesday was an intro with bios of people affected by AIDS and today kids presented reports on those people and then we opened it up to questions. And oh the questions...remember this class is made up of 12-14 year old boys (some of whom are sexually active and some of whom still think girls are kind of gross):

Actual things I said:
"No, you can't get HIV from saliva."
"Not from sweat either."
"Yes. I know someone with HIV. Statistics tell us that, by the time you're my age, you will too."
"Yes, you have to use a condom."
"Yes, I'm serious. Use one. Every time."
"I don't care what she says. Use a condom."
"No really, I mean it."
"And don't keep a condom in your wallet."
"Seriously. It's the worst possible place to keep one."
"No, I'm not making that up. You keep your wallet in your back pocket so your body heat breaks down the latex in the condom and makes it more likely to fail."
"What do you mean, 'What do I do if I don't have a condom?' Find one or don't have sex."

The most awkward moment for us all came when a student asked a clarifying question about vaginal fluid. Thank G-d it was wam in the room and my face was already flushed.

Terrance and Drew hung in there for awhile, but once I spoke up with a clarification about the difference between HIV/AIDS the trainer in me kicked in. Plus a lot of our kids have been raised by their moms so, in a lot of ways, they're more comfortable asking me.

My job is awesome. Seriously.

Priceless

My students are not angels. Hell, on most days, we all barely make it through unscathed. I often have to stop a lesson multiple times b/c someone has taken something from someone else. No one is allowed out of their seat without permission and we spent a week at the start of school reviewing routes to the garbage can and supply table so that no one is tempted to hit someone or snatch something as they walk by. Today so many of them weren't listening during first period that I just sat down and told them to finish taking notes on their own. It's far from easy and it's often thankless, but every once in awhile there is some shining moment that you file away to replay in those darker times. This morning I had one of those...

This may be one of those "you had to be there stories," but I need to share it anyway.

First period starts at 8am, but most students arrive at least five minutes early. They talk, draw, gossip, etc and it's generally not a big deal. I'm usually in the doorway, monitoring the class, but also doing hall duty. This morning, DH & DS walked into class early singing "Walk it Out" by DJ Unk and "walking it out." (Note: to "walk it out" is different for each person, but you can get a general idea with this dance video.) I went into the hall as expected and periodically peeked in on my class. With about a minute to go before class, I heard the familiar refrain of "walk it, walk it, walk it out" and I looked into my classroom and saw about 3/4 of my boys - all clothed in khakis, button downs, ties and dress shoes, mind you - dancing their hearts out. Other teachers passing by couldn't help but smile. And then the final bell rang and...get this...every one of them sat down!

Okay, so maybe you had to be there. Just trust me, it was awesome. And today, of all days, I needed awesome.

WTF?!

A woman in Ohio has been charged with murdering her newborn by microwaving him. Or her. I can't remember, but that's not the point. The point is that someone thought to place their child in the microwave. And you know what's really unbelieveable? This is not the first time this has happened.

Sometimes, I have to wonder about the state of humanity...