uh. oh.

I am so not in the head space needed to teach right now. Which is problematic given that I must be at our community meeting in less than 20 minutes and begin teaching 15 minutes after that. I think it may end up being a long day.

Stupid.

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

Every time I get excited about the possibility of dating someone, the door gets slammed in my face. Hard. Well folks, me and my face are just about through. Seriously.

Witness: after a few fantastic email exchanges, new guy and I make plans to meet for coffee Sunday afternoon. He is to choose the location and call me Friday night since I do not have Internet at home (I am very clear on this). As of 9pm SATURDAY, I am going a little crazy since I have not heard from him. So, to quell the mocking voices in my head ("I told you so..." etc), I DRIVE TO WORK to check my email. And I find this message, sent at 1pm today:

I thought I was ready to start dating again, but it's becoming increasingly clear that I'm really not. Consequently, I should end this now rather than later. Sorry.

Anyone know what I'm supposed to think of all this? Because at this point, I'm out of ideas. Clearly I am to remain on the bench b/c whoever is coaching this game (and it is so obviously NOT me) does not think I am ready to play.

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

From the mouths of babes (& other things)

I realize it has been awhile since I told a story about my hilarious students, so let me share with you this moment from my second period class (10 seventh grade boys).

Me: So A, now write your sentence using the word "consent."
A: ::about to write a sentence where I am the subject:: Are you married?
Me: No, it's M-S not M-R-S
TZ: Do you have a boyfriend?
Me: No
TV: You should be dating.
Me: Pardon?
TV: I don't mean to get in your personal life, but you should get into the dating world.
Me: ::stunned::
G: You should date Mr. Stevens (my department chair)!
Me: He is married, but thanks for thinking of me.
G: What about Mr. PJ (our behavior specialist whose last name is challenging)?
Me: Married. But again, thanks.
TV: Well, just don't meet anyone from the Internet.
TZ: Yeah, girls from Blackplanet are getting kidnapped and raped.
Me: That's why it is important to not talk with people you don't know and to never agree to meet someone.
TZ: I know. I don't talk to anyone other than my friends.
Me: That's very smart.
TV: If you do decide to date someone from the Internet, you should take karate first. Be able to protect yourself...just in case.
Me: I will keep that in mind. Thanks so much, guys. Now, today we are going to talk about forms of government...

Interestingly enough, I do indeed have a date this weekend. With someone I met on the Internet. I am pretty certain he's not going to kidnap me, but I guess if I disappear, you heard it here first. He's a clerk for a federal judge, 29, originally from Oregon, but went to law school here. He's tall and smart and funny and into a lot of the same geeky things that I'm into, so I am cautiously optimistic. We're getting coffee on Sunday - I'm going to a movie at 5pm so he suggested 2pm saying "I doubt we will run out of things to talk about." How can I not be hopeful?! I'll keep you posted.

In other news, this week marked the 10 year anniversary of Tupac's death, which was rather unsettling on several levels. I watched the BET special on his legacy while at the gym on Wednesday night and was reminded of how much I love and appreciate his music. I have lost most of his CDs in my moves, but need to prioritize those as upcoming purchases. Seriously.

I've been going to the gym a lot lately and trying to be smarter about the food I'm eating. Sadly, this means I'm going to have to pony up and start making lunches for school again. Lunch this week has been, per usual, a rotation of fried foods, salted foods and sweetened foods - none of which I should be eating. I worry about the health of our kids sometimes...a lot of the times, actually.

Finally, last night I went to the US premiere of Catch a Fire. The film stars Tim Robbins, Derek Luke and a number of South African actors and tells the story of a South African man in 1980 who is forced by the apartheid system into becoming a member of the ANC and organizing an attack against the powers that were. It is not only a moving portrayal of life under apartheid, but it is also a compelling study in humanity - why we do what we do and how we move past our mistakes and forgive. I highly recommend seeing it, if you get the chance.

Stolen from Jen

Do not think that love, in order to be genuine, has to be extraordinary. What we
need is to love without getting tired. - Mother Teresa

Word.

IMHO

Whoever wrote this for Howard Dean to send out yesterday via the DNC listserve deserves a raise. Or at least a big pat on the back. Every once in awhile I get a glimpse of how good the Dems could be.

Today we remember many things.

We remember where we were. We remember the scenes on television.

We remember the victims who were murdered. We remember the families and loved ones they left behind.

We remember the heroes who charged into danger to save lives.

We remember a moment of unity at home and around the world, where people rallied around a single mission and a common sense of justice that must be done.

Today we face many challenges at home and abroad. And too often it's too easy to be distracted by the politics, the pundits, and the posturing.

We must always remember that the dangers we face know no political party, and the solutions and leadership we need now go beyond ideology.

We must meet these challenges head-on -- remembering to stand together in action as we live together under threat. We are all Americans.

Martin Luther King, Jr. said, "Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter."

We will not be silent.

Today we remember many things.

And tomorrow, back on the campaign trail, we will remember to take with us the plain truth and a commitment to true justice for all those whose lives were transformed on this day five years ago.

Monday, Monday

This morning dawned cold, rainy and gray. I'm never a huge fan of workday mornings like that, but when it happens on a Monday, I tend to think G-d is pouring salt into my already festering wound. ::sigh:: I somehow managed to pull myself out of bed and to work, although it wasn't easy. Mondays are hard too b/c the kids are back from two days of reprogramming with their families so we spend a lot of time reviewing routines and expectations.

"Please do not yell my name to get my attention. Please raise your hand and wait quietly for me to call on you."
"You may disagree with me, but please do so appropriately by talking with me at a neutral time."
"We do not throw things, even supplies, across the room."

But hey, this weekend was productive and fun, so there's a big silver lining.

Friday night I met coworkers (old and current) at Cap Lounge for beer and pizza (although I had a lot of water since I was supposed to avoid alcohol and caffeine while on antibiotics). It's supposed to be a happy hour thing, but of course we were there nearly four hours - I was the second person to leave and that was at 9:15pm. Then EBeth and I went to see The Illusionist, which was better than I expected, but that's probably b/c I knew basically nothing about it.

Saturday I ran some errands and then went into work around 12pm. I figured I would work until about 4pm (grading, hanging up work, etc) and then head home for a nap, but I underestimated how much I had to do. I was at work until 6pm, but I got so much done. I put together an inventory of African American studies' resources and connections that I use for each of my four classes. I graded six sets of papers. I hung up exemplary work for both 7th and 12th grade. I wrote a referral for the kid who copied his homework. I finished my weekly lesson plans for AP Government. I put together and emailed out missing work lists for 7th grade. I cleaned and organized my desk area. See? Big, productive day. Then I took the 12th grade papers to a local bar/restaurant to grade, eat dinner and watch Notre Dame kill in football. If only Texas had had a similar impact on OSU (stupid OSU).

Saturday night Ebeth had a bday party for her friend Noa who just moved to Philly from Cali and still doesn't have a lot of friends. It was me and the lesbians, which is nearly always a good time. Seriously though, it was a really good time. The group of people was just about perfect since not everyone knew everyone and it was enough people, but not too many. There was also a plethora of drinks and quite the spread of yummy snacks. I turned in early (around 1:30am), but the party continued on past then.

Sunday morning I met the family I am going to start babysitting for. They live WAY up in NW DC, almost in Chevy Chase, MD and they have three kids and two dogs. The house is great, the yard is nice and the kids - Leo, Gus and Daphne - are adorable. I'm watching Leo and Daphne on Saturday mornings while Mom takes Gus to music class and Dad is at work/running errands/out of town. The dogs will be the hardest part for me, as one is a very large puppy who tends to jump and slobber a lot. Still, I am excited about working with younger kids again and the money will be nice as well.

Yesterday afternoon was the alumni association's Beer 'n' Brat picnic at Carderock Pavilion. EBeth and I were "those girls" who rolled up late and looking a little worse for wear (I was just tired, EBeth was pretty hungover). Still, we made new friends, drank some beer and ate good, Wisconsin food (brats, cheese and kringle mostly). One of the people we met was this kid Adam who graduated from Madison this past May (so he's a baby) and happens to live near us, so we gave him a ride home. It was mausing to step outside of myself and listen to me painfully try to make conversation. I like to think I did a pretty good job. Then Ebeth and I went shopping - Target & DSW - and out for dinner (where we watched the Bears destroy the Packers (I was so happy) and the end of Dallas/Jacksonville) and ice cream.

All in all, a happy weekend at home. The negative effects of the kidney infection/strep throat are gone, thanks to the antibiotics, and I have a follow up doctor's appt tomorrow afternoon for the final "all clear." I now drink water like a woman obsessed (as if I wasn't bad enough before), but I figure there's no harm in that. I'm starting back at the gym today so I need to get set up for school tomorrow and get going. Happy Monday, y'all.

Cheating death

Maybe the title of this post is a little dramatic, but after the week I've had, I feel that I deserve a little drama.

School started last Tuesday and nothing out of the ordinary happened. Wednesday dawned with me feeling a bit lethargic, but I still taught my three classes of seventh grade with gusto. As I left school at 3:57pm (7th period ends at 3:45pm), several teachers and students exclaimed over the earliness of my departure, but I needed to be in bed. Thursday I was so tired that I actually needed to lie down after taking a shower and getting dressed. Seriously, I was in the bathroom in my pants and bra, putting on face lotion and I was overcome by the urge to lie down. I ended up taking a ten minute nap before putting on my shirt and shoes, grabbing my bag and heading to work. That was the turning point for me.

I left work after teaching my two Civics' classes and AP meeting on Thursday and went home to sleep before going to the doctor. The PA in my doctor's office suspected strep, but diagnosed me with tonsilitis, took a culture and wrote a prescription for antibiotics. The drugs were great - after the first pill, my fever (103.3 at the doctor's) went down, my throat pain subsided and I was a little less tired. I still called in sick on Friday though - good thing too.

We had cleaning ladies come on Friday morning so I needed to be out of the house for 2 hours. I decided to drive up Rock Creek for a bit. After 30 minutes of driving, I had to pull over and take a nap. My throat was fine, but my head and stomach were killing me. By 7pm that night I was miserable. My temperature was climbing again and by 7:30pm, I was on the phone with my roommate, crying because I was in so much pain. Want to know a good time to go to the ER? Probably before you find yourself crying over the phone to your roommate out of sheer exhaustion.

Anyway, I was at GW Hospital by 8:30pm (I chose to get deathly ill the same night that Tropical Storm Ernesto sent gale force winds and rain through DC), but not admitted until after 11pm (multiple traumas meant I kept getting bumped). At the hospital they got my temperature down to a reasonable number (it was 103 again - NOT a reasonable number), gave me an IV of fluids to counteract my severe dehydration and did several tests and exams to determine what was wrong. Finally, with nothing left to go on, they decided on a CAT scan. I don't know how many of you have had a CAT scan, but while the scan itself is no big thing (although avoid a pelvic scan, if at all possible...trust me), prepping for it is awful. You have to drink 1000 mL of the most vile liquid EVER and then wait an entire hour for it to go through your system. By the last cupful, I was pacing the room and talking out loud to myself and by the last drink, I was holding my hand over my mouth to keep it all down.

The CAT scan revealed a pretty severe kidney infection, caused by the bacteria from my strep throat (which was confirmed on Monday). They prescribed different antibiotics and 3 quarts of water/day for seven days and discharged me at 8am Saturday. I spent the weekend...and Monday/Tuesday in bed (I have never watched so many DVDs) feeling better, but tired and today I'm back at work, feeling fine. Although, being a teacher is sure not conducive to one, drinking that much water and two, going to the bathroom whenever the mood strikes you. Still...much, much better.

So, if you called or emailed or texted in the last five days and I didn't get back to you, it's not personal. I was just very busy avoiding death. I'm sure you understand.